Easter 2013

Brian and I were able to get away for a night for our "Babymoon."  The kids had a blast with Shauna, Jason, and Madi and I was able to sleep in all the way until 8:00am and felt more alive than I have in months!  Who knew what a little sleep can do!

When we got back, it was time to enjoy Easter festivities with the fam.  It was a busy weekend with an Easter dinner and hunt at G&G's on Saturday and then Easter morning and G&G's farewell and luncheon on Sunday.

Easter Egg Hunt
The boys know the drill by now and had full baskets.  As usual, McKay's candy was pretty much non-existent by the end of the day.

Easter Morning Baskets
The Easter Bunny is always good to us - and always practical.  New undies for the boys were a big hit. A lego storage organizer and new t-shirts along with a few candies made up the rest.  They were happy campers.

Sunday Best
Love all of my boys.  And trying to embrace my pregnant glory.  Almost done!

They look so big to me.

Robinson Family Pic
Got the whole gang together for the final shot before Daddy R and Jude report to the MTC on the 15th.  This is a good, good family and I am grateful to be part of it.  Their farewell talks were awesome and had Brian and I in tears.  I have felt so much love from these two and having them leave will certainly change our little family for the next year.

A wonderful Easter to be with family.  We spent the week talking to the boys about the Savior's last week on earth and his resurrection.  I love to see the wheels turning and lightbulbs clicking on as they understand different parts of the story.  I am grateful for these people I get to call mine and know that we can be together in the eternities.  Sounds like a good deal to me.

36 Weeks

I remember thinking the last month or two of pregnancy was pretty uncomfortable...I was right.  I love that I am able to carry another baby - but again, I have reached the point of being done sharing my body.  Walking is hard, sleeping is hard, moving is hard.  But that's okay - it is all worth it in the end.  This little dude is super active and moving all over the place.  I think he wants out, too.  Three more weeks max is what I'm hoping.  We shall see.  I don't know why but part of me thinks he's coming earlier than that...

Things are wrapping up and I finished up with a major Relief Society dinner/activity that I was in charge of.  Done working at the District Office.  Almost done tutoring.  Adding less and less to my calendar each week.  Time to try to keep everything in the house put away and reasonably clean.  Especially after my angel cleaning friend Margarita came last week!  There is something so comforting about knowing that even though things get out of place and a little cluttered, deep down the baseboards, blinds, fridge, pantry, etc etc etc are clean.  Sigh.

The sun is coming out and tomorrow is officially spring.  I'm so excited to be outside and for the boys to ride bikes again and to replant our garden.  And to exercise for reals.  And snuggle a baby.  It's going to be good.

Gettin' There

It's March.  March!  While I can't believe it's already here, at the same time I'm thinking, "What took so dang long?"  Holy cow - what a winter this has been.  The sun is shining more often these days and I can see my grass again.  Although we were freezing today with the wind, the sky is blue and even that bit of hope keeps me going.  The boys are so ready to be outside and we ventured out on Saturday on Christmas wiggle cars and I dare say Brian and Gavin got a little bit of a sunburn.  It was heavenly.

These days:

• McKay is a candidate for anger management.  (Don't let that angel face there fool you!)  Scowly faces, hitting, screaming like a madman.  What to do?  I've found that ignoring and waiting until he is ready to apologize is the best tactic.  Time out in a corner does nothing - locking him in his room promotes car throwing at doors and other breaking stuff.  Stay calm, mom.  That's what I'm trying to do.
• McKay thrives with one-on-one time.  We drop off Gavin at preschool and it's like he takes this huge sigh of relief and then is a different person.  Such a cute, fun little person to hang around.  I'm glad we're buds and that we can spend some time together.
• He also has a fettish with picking his eyebrows and nose.  The first is pretty funny.  The second, mostly gross.
• Gavin likes to trick us.  He thinks he's all sneaky and tells us the opposite of whatever it.  He thinks he's pretty funny and that we're pretty gullible.
• I registered Gav for Kindergarten.  What the heck??  Crazy.  I still can't believe it.  Here's hoping I really let him go.  I told him he couldn't and he said, "I can't stop growing up, mom!"  And he doesn't - he is getting so big and independent.  He insisted on putting the gel in his hair last week and when there was a huge blob above one ear that I tried to fix, he swatted my hand away and said, "Don't worry about it, mom."  like I was embarrassing him or something.  
• My stomach is large and in charge.  I mean large, large.  Like people this week are saying, "Woah!  How much longer?"  (Meaning, lady, can your belly get any bigger?)  And I'm starting to get uncomfortable.  And waddle like a penguin.  Sad.  But excited that it's almost over and that he's almost here!  
• I am rocking the house cleaning and organizing.  Ok, mostly a cleaning lady is rocking the cleaning, but I am keeping up on day-to-day stuff and I think I have finally learned what it means to be "clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy."  Like I think we can live like this.  
• Brian is a hard, hard worker.  We miss him around these parts.  See ya in three years, honey.
• The boys will play legos for hours on end.  They are getting along pretty dang well together.  It's not perfect, but for how much time they spend together, I couldn't ask for better at the moment.

Nesting

The camera is struggling lately - hence the lack of pictures.  But I still need to keep writing, just for my forgetful memory's sake.

Gavin and I started to get another little head cold this week (seriously?) but I think it's going to pass quickly.  We inherited a twin bed for McKay this week and he has been struggling.  Awake and crying every night for the past three or four wanting someone to lay with him.  It's weird since he was totally fine in the toddler bed for the past 8 months.  I think he feels high up and a little nervous.  Maybe it was that tumble out of bed the first night...  Time to find the guard rail for the side!  The little boy room is crowded with two twin beds, but it will work.  And we have a lot more space than a lot of people, so we are grateful for what we have.

This week I've been getting all things baby organized.  The office has been cleared out and all of the clothes washed, folded, and put away.  I figure now is the time if I'm a) in the mood and b) still small enough to get into the crawl space.  It got squishy down there at the end, so I'm thinking I timed it right.  I am grateful for good friends (Karen!) who came over and helped me move furniture and lift things.    Only eight weeks left until we have another little boy to love.  I am so excited to meet him.  Two months sounds so far away, so I say eight weeks to make it sound shorter.  It works for me.

Church and other thoughts

Lately I feel like church has been especially good.  There have been several times in the past few months where I have heard something that I know I just needed to hear.

In November and December, there were two Sundays in a row that I woke up and just wasn't feeling it.  Which is pretty unlike me to just not want to go.  Anyway, of course I went and it ended up being some pretty important learning experiences I've had in a long time.  I don't remember the lesson, but I was in Sunday School and the teacher said something and all of the sudden all of this clarity came to my mind about how good our life was, how hard Brian works for us, and what we needed to do with a pressing financial decision (buying a car).  I don't even know if my thoughts were directly related to the lesson.  I'm pretty sure they weren't.  She said one sentence and the rest of the lesson blurred out.  My mind started racing and I took a page of clearly outlined notes of how things were going to work out and what we needed to do to make everything happen.  And how to budget.  I came home and told Brian what I was thinking and he said, "What has happened to you?  It's not that I don't like it - because this is great - but where did this all come from?"  Inspiration, I tell you.

So then the following Sunday I had the same feeling.  Not wanting to go to church.  In Relief Society that day a sister was bearing her testimony and said that her testimony of the gospel has come pieces at a time - a line here, a phrase here, a feeling here, a thought here - about different topics and principles.  I think that it how it is for me, as was shown to me the week before.  Maybe that's how it is for a lot of people.  But I was grateful for that day as well that I was reminded - AGAIN - that when I am listening I can continue to be taught.  Even when I think that I don't need to be at church.  I certainly know that I don't have all of the answers.  But I know that Heavenly Father is guiding my thoughts and I can choose to act on those or not.

The reason I'm writing about this now is because 1) it's an important life lesson for me to remember and 2) today in Sunday School we had a great lesson on revelation.  All of these examples came back to me and I realized that I can do more to receive personal revelation for me and for my family.  It made me think about times that people have been paying attention and have literally called me in the very moment that I needed them.  And when I am aware, I have had those same thoughts for people and have called or dropped by and they said that I was an answer to their prayers.  That timing is not coincidence.

Parenting is hard business.  I know that Brian and I need to work together and stay close to the spirit so that our decisions and tactics can be guided in a way that is best for our little family.  I feel so overwhelmed and such a sense of responsibility today of being a parent.  The knot at the end of my rope has been tied and I'm hanging on for dear life.  I want to be a good mom and wife and know that I cannot do it alone.  Although I know sometimes I've tried.  I want to take the time to step up my personal study as it is severely lacking.

Even though sometimes it feels like I am doing the same thing week after week when it comes to church meetings, I do need these lessons again and again to learn what is relevant to my life now.  

January 2013

This has officially been the longest month of my entire life.  No joke.  Since we left Arizona on December 28th or so, someone in our family has been sick.  Like stay-in-your-house-and-don't-share-the-germs sick.  It's getting a little old.  The past three weeks have been at least 3 of of sick at once and as of this past Sunday, all four of us were seriously down for the count.  Now the boys are on the up while mom and dad try to finish up flu and ear infections.  I'm ready to be in the real world again.  The weather is a joke.  There's something not right about running errands in 5 and 9 degree weather!  We've been hibernating and cooped up and playing more games than I can count.  When the weather finally gets good we are going to have to do some serious television/video game rehab.  But what else do I do?  TV has been our best friend lately.  I'm so excited to see our bikes again.  And the park.  And our friends.

I've hit the 29-week mark with the pregnancy and that makes me feel like I'm getting closer.  I am itching to get down in the crawl space and wash clothes and organize a baby boy closet.  And I keep thinking about a twin bed for McKay so I can put the crib back together.  There's something about a crib set up to the highest setting for that brand new baby that does it for me.  I'm excited.  Although just yesterday I had my first sad thought of leaving these snuggly days with my two boys behind me.  I remember feeling exactly the same way with Gavin - that I thought I would never be able to be alone with just him ever again once McKay was born.  But of course, we found our 'new normal' and everything was right in the world once again.  I'm know the same thing will happen again.  But the vision of my two boys - one on each side of me - has been in my head and I wonder how and where this third child will fit in.  He will.  But I am so grateful for these two little boys who will now be the big boys - for the time that I've been able to spend with them.  As parents, I can see one of us taking the baby while the other takes the other two, since they go so well together.  It will all work out.  But three kids...wow.  I keep wondering what that will be like for us!

Gavin has missed a load of preschool days this month.  He's finally back to school and McKay takes a breath of fresh air once we drop him off and he knows he gets his time with mom.  They do love each other, but McKay really thrives on that one-on-one time and behaves like a different kid.  I think he is a total cutie lately and find myself saying "Isn't he cute?" more often than "Isn't he a little monster?"  (Because let's be honest, McKay - you have been quite a piece of work...)

And - oh yes!  In our hibernating month McKay was finally potty trained!  We started on Dec 31 and have had two pee accidents total.  Here's to three months of a diaper-free world.  I don't know why a kid peeing and pooping on the toilet gets me to scream and squeal and dance, but it does.  And pinching those undie buns is about my very favorite thing in this world.

Had a few fun weekend get-a-ways with friends this month.  I was sick both times (obviously), but I've gotta say - I love good friends and am grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life.

For the record - Funny things the boys say these days: (McKay says them too because he's learning from Gavin)
freckles = frackles
chopsticks = chapsticks
sheriff = sherliff
piano = pliano (Gavin just let go of this word recently...kinda made me sad!)
ambulance = ambleeance (also a word he recently figured out)

And that's a wrap.  January 2013 - I'm pretty much over you.  I don't like feeling gloomy and sad and sick.  Looking forward to better days in February!

Back in Business

Okay - so I've been hiding.  For a few reasons, but apparently some people actually want to read this sometimes, so I'm caving.

You may see a whole lotta crazy in the last few months on here, but I'm just keeping it real.  The reason behind me going private was because of a comment that someone made about what I was writing about that bugged me enough to say, "Fine.  I don't care if you read it anyway."  I sure showed them, didn't I?!  :)  And the truth is that I'm not interested in having a blog with the most traffic or comments or whatever.  I just want to write about my life and keep it all - the good, the really good, and some of the bad and buggy - recorded for posterity.

I just want to write about what I want to write about and not worry about what other people are going to say or think.  So just be nice to me.  I am usually good about letting things just roll off my back, but these days it's a little harder.  I'm working on it.

And so I've said my peace.  Goodness - I sound sassy.  And depressed.  But I'm really ok.  Just pregnant is all...so that pretty much explains everything, right?