Schedules

I am one who likes schedules. I'm sure it started around the time I became a teacher and has now carried over into my life as a mom. We eat about the same time, we have a naptime, bedtime, bathtime, etc. - it's just how we work around here. You'll notice I said 'about.' That's a new development. It used to be more set in stone, but the more time goes on, the more flexible I become. When McKay was born, I called it lowering my standards. It's probably a lot of that, but now we'll call it flexible.

Most days follow the same pattern. A schedule works for me, most of the time.

Last night I put McKay down at 7:00. He slept for just over an hour and then woke up frantic. I don't know if it's teething or being sick or what. I went in and picked him up and rocked him for a bit. He sat very still on my lap, his little hands resting on my arms. Brian had a late night and came home while I was sitting with him. I put McKay back in his crib and he did his high-pitched squeal telling me that he was totally offended that I had left him. This time he cried just a minute or two and then was out for the rest of the night.

I walked in to Brian and said, "I'm a total softy for McKay." He said, "It took you ten months to figure that out?" I laughed. No, I've actually know it all along. It's not just last night, but I've certainly catered to him more. With Gavin, he followed my baby books to the T. I've always called him my "textbook baby." When the book said he should eat, he ate. When he should sleep, he slept. When he might cry a few minutes, he cried a few minutes. And when people were so impressed with Gavin's sleeping skills, I'd say, "Well, yeah. You just follow this book and your kid will just do it." And when someone else's baby didn't do that I'd think to myself Just follow the book.

Well, I know now that all babies are not alike. Kid #2 is teaching me all sorts of things. McKay is a different boy. He's spent a few times crying for well over an hour during our sleep training several months ago. I've tried. I've ignored. I've soothed. He won't stop. I promise, he won't. When he's awake, he's just awake. So now I go and get him. With Gavin, I never did that, though I really didn't have to. I would have worried that he'd get too dependent on me giving him a little rock every time he wanted to sleep or whatever. Now I see things differently. McKay has a fairly predictable schedule. Different, but good. He doesn't always sleep long hours and although today's nap was 2.5 hours, yesterday's was 45 minutes, he's still sleeping. And I don't get bent out of shape about it like I used to.

As Brian and I visited, we decided that no, McKay won't be ruined if I go to him in the night when he cries. I've found that when I do, he lays down and cries a little and then is content. It's not like this is going to be happening forever. It's just the opposite. Before I know it, he'll be slamming the door trying to keep me out of his room. But if he wants me now, he can have me now.

Some days I wonder when I'll be able to put him down, this baby that loves to be held. He's getting pretty heavy, you know. It's not as easy as it used to be! Until now, I have had a hard time verbalizing to Brian why I am quicker to get McKay when he cries. We're super connected, that little boy and me. To say he's got me wrapped around his little finger is an understatement. But it was nice when Brian agreed that, yes, loving our baby is not the end of my scheduled world.

In 18 years will I look back and think Gosh, I wish we would have stuck to that schedule better or will I think, What I wouldn't give to hold onto him just a little longer. I'm thinking it's the latter, so I'll relax just a little and hold onto the moments while I have them.

Quarantined

We're sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's been a long, long week around here. Fevers, runny noses, eight infected ears, sore throats, crying boys waking up in the night... I'm ready to move on. Thanks to Brian for saving the day when I could not hardly be mom for a few days, even when he was not 100% himself. I'm finally graduating from non-functioning to making it work and will be glad to feel like myself again. And sleep without cough attacks and knives stabbing my ears. Call me selfish, but it's hard to take care of little people when I hardly feel like taking care of myself. Only one parent should be sick at a time. Not that we can control these things, but hopefully our little fam is done for just a minute. Hopefully.

**Feb. 11 - We are now on day 12 of sick in this house. And yesterday I got pink eye. Seriously? So much for being done. On a positive note, I've done the equivalent of 800 sit-ups via coughing.

Ten Month McKay

You are a new little person! Over time you are becoming more content and so interactive. I know you're still a baby, but I see it quickly slipping away. You laugh all the time. A deep, delightful laugh. You know your family and love to ‘talk’ to us. You laugh every time we pass the family pictures in the hallway. You know who your peeps are.
This month you got another tooth – your top right front tooth. You’ve started repeating things and say uh-uh (second uh goes up) and dada. You reach up when we put our arms out to hold you. You’ve started clapping and think peek-a-boo is pretty funny. We switched you to two naps a day and now you take longer ones. You still sleep well through the night and by the time 7:00pm rolls around, you are done. So done you hardly want your bottle. You are a fussy bottle eater – you would rather have food. This month we introduced you to real people food and you are catching on.
Your hair officially got long enough for some bedhead. Your hair is finally filling in and we discovered a double cowlick in back – exactly like your brothers. It is thin and sparse and I love running my fingers through it.
You're finally branching out and finding new things to look at and play with. But you still love to be held and my favorite thing is how you lean towards our face to peek at us when we’re not looking at you. Just saying, "Hello!” There is no doubt that you are loved and that there is a place for you in our family.