Mother's Day

Growing up I always had my future family in mind.  While I didn't know exactly who would be there - didn't have faces pictured - I hoped that I would meet someone who would want to be with me forever. I remember hearing an idea in a Young Women's lesson to pray every day for my future husband.  That idea stuck with me and I started then praying every single night.  I prayed that I would find him and that we would both work hard to prepare ourselves to be ready for each other when the day finally came.  I hit the jackpot when I found Brian and fooled him into asking me out back in October 2002.  It's all been downhill from there.  Or is it uphill?  Either way, life has gotten better and better.  Not easier and easier, but I have my sweet little family I dreamed of and I am so grateful for him.  Lucky for me, I got him AND these three little people that call me mommy.

Being a mom is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done.  The best thing.  The most rewarding thing.  The most selfless thing.  I'm livin' my dream!  But, boy, it is hard!

Each stage of life will bring different things - new highs and lows.  But for now, my days with three boys ages 5, 3, and newborn are consumed with: wiping bums and noses, getting bandaids, making meals, helping bathe, helping dress, making sure no one has escaped into the street, reminding kids to not run too fast in flip flops, telling stories, building forts, refereeing arguments, finding teaching moments, being silly, teaching mommy school, giving hugs and smooches before bed, enduring potty training, nursing, taking evening drives to make it to bedtime, changing diapers, putting the couch together once it's been torn apart and used as a trampoline, pulling down legos, stepping on legos, putting away legos, doing dishes, folding mountains of laundry, corralling kids at the grocery store, walking to the park, etc. etc. etc.

Despite moments of frustration and feelings of inadequacy, I wouldn't change it and am so grateful to call these little dudes mine.  I love them more than I could ever imagine and am grateful that we have the kids we do.  It's the unsolicited hugs, kisses, thank yous, and how can I help? that make it all worth it.  It's Gavin saying, "I'm sorry I did that mom" or "I love you mom" or "Close your eyes and come check this out.  Surprise!  I put all of the shoes away for you!"  It's the love and protection he shows for his little brothers.  It's the stick figure family he draws with everyone's hair just right and me holding the baby sideways.  It's McKay's sweet voice and how much I love hearing how he can't pronounce his R's.  It's his silly and stubborn personality that makes me throw my hands in the air and laugh (sometimes).  It's his silly body wobbling every direction with his tongue sticking out.  It's those blue, blue eyes and that blondie blonde hair.  My little angel buddy when it's just me and him.  It's my sweet baby Jonah - oh how I love that baby!  His mooshy skin, his rolls all over his body, his head and red hair, his eyes that look at me as he's nursing, his tongue that sticks out when he's trying to smile.  The way he holds still when I hold him or how I know what will make him happy.  I hope that they will continue to be forgiving as I learn daily how to be a mom.  In the end, if I don't live another day I want these three to know how much love I have for them and how proud I am of the people they are becoming.  Just thinking about it and writing it down brings happy tears to my eyes.

Oh, how I love being their mother.