Where we are

It stresses me out to post things not in order.  But then if I work that way, then things will never get on here.  Important things that I want to remember.  There have been several little things in the past few days alone that I think I need to remember this but I know I won't.  So, someday I will go back and get Gavin's birthday and the rest of summer and renovating and being pregnant and Jonah's poop problems for the past six weeks and school starting and all that jazz.  But for today, these are the things that I want to remember.

I am a terrible pregnant person.  I know that I am blessed and do feel incredibly grateful.  But still, I am just bad at it.  Moody and irrational and plain mean.  I don't love that at all.  I keep telling myself that I will be feel normal again.  I hope that is true as it is hard for me to believe these days.  Lately I've been sleeping in the basement.  It's a lot cooler down there with a big soft bed that feels more comfortable to me.  I also can't hear much.  So the kids have been getting up and I've been sleeping in later than I would if I were in my room.  This morning it was a shocker to me when McKay came in and said, "Mom, I think you need to get up."  It felt later than usual and I came up and wouldn't you know it - 8:22.  8:22!!  I can't remember the last time I slept that long.  I saw a box of cereal on the kitchen floor.  I walked into find Jonah being handed mini wheats one at a time from his sweet brother McKay making sure he was fed and happy.  Poop up the back.  Gavin had the remote and the cartoons running.  Do these kids really need me??  I think they are really running the operation around here.  In fact, I am certain of it.  It was so funny to me that I was sleeping and all of this was going on.  I felt a lot irresponsible.  And laughed about it several times today.  Awesome mom points for sure!!

Jonah is the cutest thing ever.  Fifteen and sixteen month olds are the cutest.  I think I forgot that.  He has a million teeth (at least 10, really) and says lots of new words.  He says daddy, mommy, mom, doggy, ball, hi, blanket (doesn't sound like that at all), nana, and more.  He gives the sweetest snuggles and really just walks around the house doing his own thing.  Playing with toys, going up and down the stairs, unloading dishes, and playing with his brothers.

McKay and Gavin have been at each others' throats.  School started Tuesday (will have to write about that someday...) and I think it's a good thing to give them a little space after the summer together.  Those last few days were killer.  Like fighting and teasing and punching and pulling the entire day long.  When I asked McKay what was going on he said, "My heart is black.  And it is empty.  Well, it's really pink, but it is still empty."  Where would a four-year-old come up with that?

Gavin has been trying to transition to his new school.  He's come home sulky and sad.  Tonight, after day three, when I asked him how things were going, he finally admitted to me that he sits there and wonders what he is missing at home and wants to be with his family.  It was really sweet.  Then he said, "Mom, I noticed that you made my bed today and that made me feel happy inside.  It made me feel like you love me."  I tell ya - we fight and nag and want to pull hair out.  And then they are all cute like that.  I even let him lay all over me during story time even when I really wanted him to sit back a little and give me some space.  But I held off.  And I'm glad I did because I think he just needs to feel close to us.  Though these little boys are lots of work, I wouldn't trade them for anything.  And I know that I need to be here with them.  And when not-so-great things happen I need to be here to handle it.  (Hopefully in a not-crazy-pregnant-lady sorta way.)

They are asking lots of good, hard questions.  Like they want to know about drugs and jail and how will the baby come out and all sorts of stuff I didn't realize we would be talking about this soon.  But we do, and it's good.  Sometimes funny.  And a little hard to explain.

Anyway, there's the brain dump for the night.  It's out of order and has no accompanying picture.  But that's ok.  This is where we're at.

Summer Days

A GIRL!!!

Yep - it's true!  We're having another baby.  And we finally get our girl.  I still can't believe it.  I think that's partly why I haven't announced super publicly besides to the family and friends we see most often because part of me won't believe it until I see it.  What if I have a baby and prepare and then it's not what we thought??  I doubt that will happen, and it doesn't make sense but that is the honest truth of why I've waited and waited.  We found out I was pregnant in early March.  It was right in the middle of showing the house and moving and Hawaii and……  But it was the final confirmation I needed to know that it was indeed time for us to move and that we were making a good decision.

Four kids sounds like a lot to me….but I think Brian and I have both always thought that four was our number.  My friend did the ultrasound early at 17 weeks.  I was so anxious to know.  Brian was on his way to Fathers and Sons and I still went by myself because I just couldn't wait.  I told her I wouldn't cry when she told me it was another boy.  And I was prepared and ready for it.  Although in my heart of hearts I thought it was a girl.  And it was.  And I cried.

We will be very thankful this November!

And then Kindergarten Ends

Gavin has had a great year.  I can't believe this Kindergarten year is over.  It went by so so fast.  Really fast!  He has grown so much.  He can read!  Gavin is a smart kid and I think he will do well in school.  I am proud of him.  Every time I went into his class he was obedient and doing what the teacher asked him to.  After being a teacher, I know that this is a pretty important thing!  (At least it was sure helpful to me…)  Mrs. Crockett did great things with him.  Besides literally watching him get big right before my eyes, I was pretty floored to see the influence a good teacher can have.  And to see what information he has stored in his brain that was never there before.  From the parent side this time around, I am very grateful.  Him going to Manila has been a good thing - for both of us.

It was SO fun to watch my own little boy at the dance festival.  He was feeling it and moving like crazy!  I may have teared up just a touch listening to the America song at Kindergarten graduation.  You just can't help it on those ones!  "This is a great song, mom" he told me.

His best bud was Garrett.  They only had one play date all year but in class they were at recess together most days and sat by each other at a table.  Garrett was a good kid.

Gavin's in the big leagues now.  All day!  First grade!  He is excited.  And he's ready.  I'm going to miss him.  And for sure McKay will!  We're switching him over to Barratt.  It is right outside the front door of our new house.  And with all these kids following behind, it just makes sense for us to go to school here in American Fork.  So he will have another new start, make new friends, and have another great year.  

Here's to a fun summer before I have to get all teary about that.

First day of Kindergarten

Last day

First day

Last day

London!

It still feels like a dream…  Even though this London trip has been in the works for well over a year, of course the dates would conveniently fall four days after we moved into our new house.

But no worries.  We made it work.  Brian the champion of the world took days off work, a week off of therapy, and lots of nice people took the kids during the day one week so that I could have the adventure of a lifetime.

And what an adventure it was!  The guest list: Mother, Becky, Susan, David, Jourdan, Amy, Brittney, Lynsey, Mark, Jenn, Sterling, and me.

Mark planned out our itinerary to the tee.  I just followed.  Made it easy and fun!  Nothing beats a trip when you truly enjoy the company of the people you are with.  Every day was packed.  For ten days we woke up early, toured and saw and enjoyed all day and crashed every night.  "This is not a vacation!" I kept telling Brian.  "This is an adventure!  A trip!"  He was certain I was sitting by the pool relaxing.  We were so tired.  But it was all so worth it.

I will always be grateful to Mother for making trips like these with my sisters, aunts, and cousins happen over the years.  New England - Seattle - New York - Washington DC - and now London.  Some of my very happiest memories.

Ordinary Days

Grateful for:
New houses to work on
Helpful friends to watch and feed kids during our busiest days
Home Depot runs
BYU days with Aunt Melissa
Park days with dad

Under Construction

To do list: Rip out carpet Rip out linoleum Paint kitchen cupboards Paint trim/doors/closets New hardware on doors Rip down mantle Retexture wall for TV Rip out tile by fireplace and backdoor Retile all of that (Thank you Brian and Nathan!) Paint