Nesting

The camera is struggling lately - hence the lack of pictures.  But I still need to keep writing, just for my forgetful memory's sake.

Gavin and I started to get another little head cold this week (seriously?) but I think it's going to pass quickly.  We inherited a twin bed for McKay this week and he has been struggling.  Awake and crying every night for the past three or four wanting someone to lay with him.  It's weird since he was totally fine in the toddler bed for the past 8 months.  I think he feels high up and a little nervous.  Maybe it was that tumble out of bed the first night...  Time to find the guard rail for the side!  The little boy room is crowded with two twin beds, but it will work.  And we have a lot more space than a lot of people, so we are grateful for what we have.

This week I've been getting all things baby organized.  The office has been cleared out and all of the clothes washed, folded, and put away.  I figure now is the time if I'm a) in the mood and b) still small enough to get into the crawl space.  It got squishy down there at the end, so I'm thinking I timed it right.  I am grateful for good friends (Karen!) who came over and helped me move furniture and lift things.    Only eight weeks left until we have another little boy to love.  I am so excited to meet him.  Two months sounds so far away, so I say eight weeks to make it sound shorter.  It works for me.

Church and other thoughts

Lately I feel like church has been especially good.  There have been several times in the past few months where I have heard something that I know I just needed to hear.

In November and December, there were two Sundays in a row that I woke up and just wasn't feeling it.  Which is pretty unlike me to just not want to go.  Anyway, of course I went and it ended up being some pretty important learning experiences I've had in a long time.  I don't remember the lesson, but I was in Sunday School and the teacher said something and all of the sudden all of this clarity came to my mind about how good our life was, how hard Brian works for us, and what we needed to do with a pressing financial decision (buying a car).  I don't even know if my thoughts were directly related to the lesson.  I'm pretty sure they weren't.  She said one sentence and the rest of the lesson blurred out.  My mind started racing and I took a page of clearly outlined notes of how things were going to work out and what we needed to do to make everything happen.  And how to budget.  I came home and told Brian what I was thinking and he said, "What has happened to you?  It's not that I don't like it - because this is great - but where did this all come from?"  Inspiration, I tell you.

So then the following Sunday I had the same feeling.  Not wanting to go to church.  In Relief Society that day a sister was bearing her testimony and said that her testimony of the gospel has come pieces at a time - a line here, a phrase here, a feeling here, a thought here - about different topics and principles.  I think that it how it is for me, as was shown to me the week before.  Maybe that's how it is for a lot of people.  But I was grateful for that day as well that I was reminded - AGAIN - that when I am listening I can continue to be taught.  Even when I think that I don't need to be at church.  I certainly know that I don't have all of the answers.  But I know that Heavenly Father is guiding my thoughts and I can choose to act on those or not.

The reason I'm writing about this now is because 1) it's an important life lesson for me to remember and 2) today in Sunday School we had a great lesson on revelation.  All of these examples came back to me and I realized that I can do more to receive personal revelation for me and for my family.  It made me think about times that people have been paying attention and have literally called me in the very moment that I needed them.  And when I am aware, I have had those same thoughts for people and have called or dropped by and they said that I was an answer to their prayers.  That timing is not coincidence.

Parenting is hard business.  I know that Brian and I need to work together and stay close to the spirit so that our decisions and tactics can be guided in a way that is best for our little family.  I feel so overwhelmed and such a sense of responsibility today of being a parent.  The knot at the end of my rope has been tied and I'm hanging on for dear life.  I want to be a good mom and wife and know that I cannot do it alone.  Although I know sometimes I've tried.  I want to take the time to step up my personal study as it is severely lacking.

Even though sometimes it feels like I am doing the same thing week after week when it comes to church meetings, I do need these lessons again and again to learn what is relevant to my life now.  

January 2013

This has officially been the longest month of my entire life.  No joke.  Since we left Arizona on December 28th or so, someone in our family has been sick.  Like stay-in-your-house-and-don't-share-the-germs sick.  It's getting a little old.  The past three weeks have been at least 3 of of sick at once and as of this past Sunday, all four of us were seriously down for the count.  Now the boys are on the up while mom and dad try to finish up flu and ear infections.  I'm ready to be in the real world again.  The weather is a joke.  There's something not right about running errands in 5 and 9 degree weather!  We've been hibernating and cooped up and playing more games than I can count.  When the weather finally gets good we are going to have to do some serious television/video game rehab.  But what else do I do?  TV has been our best friend lately.  I'm so excited to see our bikes again.  And the park.  And our friends.

I've hit the 29-week mark with the pregnancy and that makes me feel like I'm getting closer.  I am itching to get down in the crawl space and wash clothes and organize a baby boy closet.  And I keep thinking about a twin bed for McKay so I can put the crib back together.  There's something about a crib set up to the highest setting for that brand new baby that does it for me.  I'm excited.  Although just yesterday I had my first sad thought of leaving these snuggly days with my two boys behind me.  I remember feeling exactly the same way with Gavin - that I thought I would never be able to be alone with just him ever again once McKay was born.  But of course, we found our 'new normal' and everything was right in the world once again.  I'm know the same thing will happen again.  But the vision of my two boys - one on each side of me - has been in my head and I wonder how and where this third child will fit in.  He will.  But I am so grateful for these two little boys who will now be the big boys - for the time that I've been able to spend with them.  As parents, I can see one of us taking the baby while the other takes the other two, since they go so well together.  It will all work out.  But three kids...wow.  I keep wondering what that will be like for us!

Gavin has missed a load of preschool days this month.  He's finally back to school and McKay takes a breath of fresh air once we drop him off and he knows he gets his time with mom.  They do love each other, but McKay really thrives on that one-on-one time and behaves like a different kid.  I think he is a total cutie lately and find myself saying "Isn't he cute?" more often than "Isn't he a little monster?"  (Because let's be honest, McKay - you have been quite a piece of work...)

And - oh yes!  In our hibernating month McKay was finally potty trained!  We started on Dec 31 and have had two pee accidents total.  Here's to three months of a diaper-free world.  I don't know why a kid peeing and pooping on the toilet gets me to scream and squeal and dance, but it does.  And pinching those undie buns is about my very favorite thing in this world.

Had a few fun weekend get-a-ways with friends this month.  I was sick both times (obviously), but I've gotta say - I love good friends and am grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life.

For the record - Funny things the boys say these days: (McKay says them too because he's learning from Gavin)
freckles = frackles
chopsticks = chapsticks
sheriff = sherliff
piano = pliano (Gavin just let go of this word recently...kinda made me sad!)
ambulance = ambleeance (also a word he recently figured out)

And that's a wrap.  January 2013 - I'm pretty much over you.  I don't like feeling gloomy and sad and sick.  Looking forward to better days in February!

Back in Business

Okay - so I've been hiding.  For a few reasons, but apparently some people actually want to read this sometimes, so I'm caving.

You may see a whole lotta crazy in the last few months on here, but I'm just keeping it real.  The reason behind me going private was because of a comment that someone made about what I was writing about that bugged me enough to say, "Fine.  I don't care if you read it anyway."  I sure showed them, didn't I?!  :)  And the truth is that I'm not interested in having a blog with the most traffic or comments or whatever.  I just want to write about my life and keep it all - the good, the really good, and some of the bad and buggy - recorded for posterity.

I just want to write about what I want to write about and not worry about what other people are going to say or think.  So just be nice to me.  I am usually good about letting things just roll off my back, but these days it's a little harder.  I'm working on it.

And so I've said my peace.  Goodness - I sound sassy.  And depressed.  But I'm really ok.  Just pregnant is all...so that pretty much explains everything, right?

St. George getaway

It's a lucky thing to have a free condo at our fingertips. We are very grateful. The four of us headed down to southern UT to escape the snow and have a minute away. Highlights included McKay's first totally successful movie theater viewing at Wreck-it Ralph, 2-on-2 basketball, and swimming at Sand Hollow. The boys were feeling a little cabin fever, but a change of scenery is never a bad idea...

Halloween Festivities - Star Wars Style

The Halloween party at Grandma's is always a hit. She doesn't leave one detail undone. A parade, Games, prizes for everyone, dinner, cookie decorating - the kids loved it.

After the party, Brian and I went to a couples party at Justin and Lindy's house. It was a blast. We always have a great time with this group of friends.

Halloween night the boys sat patiently waiting for us to finish getting ready.  The weather could not have been better.  We had a great night and I tried to watch closely and soak in the cuteness.  Brian and I realized that this year the boys were at the perfect ages - in their prime.  They were excited, they were grateful, they were happy, they stayed close to us.  It was perfect.  I asked McKay if he would hold my hand and he said, "No, Mom, I gotta wun."  And off he ran.  He ate a piece of candy at pretty much every house and didn't have much by the time we got back.  Gavin showed me his loot periodically and came home with a haul he was proud of.  He ate the entire thing the next day and paid for it that night with a few hours of throwing up.

Potty Training

So although those are cute buns, this potty training episode was a fail. Neither of us were ready. We'll try again when I am patient and McKay is willing...