Five years

I should have written this last week, but the truth is that I couldn't put my finger on why I kept thinking that Sept. 18 had some meaning to me.

A day later, I asked Brian why the day was sticking out in my mind - did we miss someone's birthday? And then I remembered: Sept 18, 2003. The day Brian was diagnosed with Leukemia. It's strange how I've remembered that day every day for the last four years. In fact, I used to be aware of the day long before it arrived. Perhaps it's a good thing that the memories of that day - and those days - are starting to fade. It tells me that we're moving on and are in a different stage of our lives. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

At the same time, I think it's good for me to stop and remember. Some of you knew this then, but Brian and I were three weeks away from our wedding day when he was finally diagnosed. We had been wondering for months what was wrong. When the wedding crept closer, my dad got things rolling with new doctors in UT and within a day, Brian was checked into the hospital. The wedding was postponed for six months and we got ready for an ordeal of a lifetime. Brian's treatments lasted for three years - but the first year was the most intense. Chemo, radiation, nausea, pneumonia, joint pain, etc. That was our new life. Brian handled all of this like a champ. He was positive and occasionally, in quiet moments, showed his real worry. We rarely talked about the real fears that we had, but we both knew they were there. Back then I hoped, but didn't know if we would make it five years or five months. We appreciated each moment and I remember not worrying about stupid things that many newlyweds do. We just loved each other.

Five years is a long time. Back then, it was the "five year mark" and "ten year mark" that seemed so far away for us, letting us know that Brian was finally in the clear. Several doctors appointments, worries, and surgeries later, we're here! We look forward to another five years of good health. We will continue to appreciate each year, each month, each day, and each hour we have to be together. Brian and I have always believed this experience has taught us things that other couples rarely learn so early in their marriage. We know that life is so precious. There just isn't enough time to take any of it for granted. Brian is my hero. He is, without a doubt, the most incredible person I know. So today, a week late, I am so thankful for the last five years and can't wait to see what's next.

Laughing

Recently Gavin has been giving us some REAL laughs. Sometimes he laughs at himself, but Brian can always make him laugh with these weird sounds he makes. I am successful in other ways - maybe he just thinks I'm funny looking because I don't have to make hardly any sounds at all!

A Few Photos

Love this face!

Sometimes, typically on the weekends, we're just too darn tired to sit up with Gavin when he wakes up way too early. This doesn't happen often, but somehow he does mysteriously end up on our bed with big people covers. Don't judge.

Brian and Gavin ready for the outside.

September 8

It’s been awhile. Things are moving right along. Work is going really well for me. I appreciate the flexibility of my new job and love not taking things home every day. That was the whole point of quitting teaching – and it is well worth it. This job is a whole new world and I feel like I am learning a new profession. I am learning to be a better listener and really want to help these new teachers. I feel for these people - it's hard to be brand new! It’s a different busy than I’m used to, but I really am enjoying it and love the people I work with. I look forward to Thursdays and Friday afternoons where I get to spend time with my little boy. It’s a nice break during the week.

Gavin turned 3 months old on Friday. I (again!) can’t believe how fast the time goes. He is so alert and smiley and I just can't get enough of him. He is making happy noises and is trying to copy our sounds and faces and mostly just looks at us with big, interested eyes. Besides all that, he's already learned to read.


Actually, it's quite cute. He really does look at the pictures and his bobble head just takes him back and forth between the pages.

Over labor day we went to St. George with Brian's fam. Gavin caught some sun. I wasn't able to lay by the pool and read my book like I planned, but I guess those are the sacrifices you make when you've got a kid.

Some of the Robinson cousins


And one last picture...Lyns - did you give us these pajamas? I can't remember. We think he looks like a pirate...or the baby off of Labyrinth. Just cute, dangit.

Blessing Day

Brian gave Gavin a sweet blessing yesterday. It was so fun to see family and friends and have them come over to eat with us. It turns out I bought way too much food...come over if you're hungry for fruit, bagels, or muffins.
My mom and dad were the king and queen of setting things up, so the food was presented in a way that was much more classy than I would have done. Brian's parents were also helpful in getting us outside furniture, shade, and drinks. We love our family and are glad they love our little boy so much!

Work

Ugh. The thought makes me sick inside. It started yesterday and I’m just not sure that I’m ready. The summer has flown by – much faster than it has in years past – and I have a feeling time will just keep passing more quickly as I get older. At least that’s how it’s been so far. It’s not that I’m not excited about the idea of a new job. I hope that coaching new teachers will be fulfilling and that I can help them be better at what they do. It’s nice to have people to talk to about similar interests and feel needed in the teacher world. After my meetings yesterday, I realize that this job will be a new adventure for me.

But…Let me vent for a moment.

Life actually feels normal again and we are just getting into a routine at our house. The truth is that I’m not ready to share Gavin and let other people be in charge of him. That sounds a little possessive, I know. I will say that the people who will watch him are absolutely wonderful and I feel very lucky, confident, and comfortable to leave him with them. But I just want to do it myself, that’s all. I know a two-month-old doesn’t need much…just some hugs, a little milk and a diaper change every once in awhile. People leave their kids all the time and they are just fine. Gavin will be fine. But I’m just trying to tell myself that I’m going to be fine. And I really hope I will - eventually. Last week my good friend Mrs. Straddles reminded me that there is a season for everything. Unfortunately, this just isn’t my season to stay home with my little boy. I do want him to have some consistency in his schedule and feel like I have little control over that now. Even though it doesn’t matter, will they lay him down right? Will they know how to make him stop crying when he’s mad and tired? I’m sure they will, but again, I just want to do it. Mostly I worry about what I’m going to miss. Am I going to miss too many smiles? Perhaps him rolling over? If I sound jealous, I am. I’m just jealous that other people get to hang out with him all day.

And then I went to pick him up yesterday and I don’t know that he even realized that I was gone. So, in the end I realize that this is the best time, if any, to leave.

But at least I’ll get you every Thursday, little man. And Friday afternoons, too. And don’t forget the weekend! So it’s probably not as bad as I’m making it sound. I guess it’s time to remember by my own motto: “I can do hard things!”

Scentsy Order

I am putting in my last group order for the Spring/Summer 2008 Catalog on August 18th! Free shipping!
The NEW Fall/Winter Catalog comes out September 1st and I'll be having a Fall/Winter event...I'll keep you posted on an official date! You will love all the new warmers, scents, packages and products!!

Here is a link to the Discontinued Items from the Spring/Summer Catalog. Check it out and stock up on any item you love through August while supplies last. I have no idea if they will bring any of these scents back next year.

https://www.scentsy.com/images/photo/Discontinued_08.pdf