And then he was Four

Oh Gav...  You've been planning your Lego birthday for about the past eight months.

It all started with this cake:

Gavin is super into Legos since he got his first Ninjago figure in January.  We've been earning and collecting small pieces since then.  I had this idea for a Lego head.  When Brian's family decided to celebrate the Sunday before, I figured I couldn't reinvite them over for more cake on the actual day.  Brian said that we should just do our own thing - meaning the four of us.  "But there are FIVE layers!" Who on earth would eat all that?

And the seventeen-child-count four-year-old birthday party that was never supposed to happen came to pass.  And the boy was happy.

Neighbor friends: Owen, Alec, Andrew, Savana, Robby, Ander, Kaylee, Chase, Tad, Truly, Ayda, McKay, Elsa, Van, Rome

Balloon games.  Brian was awesome as he headed up the organization of the activities.  I was cutting cake and such and afterwards when I told him what a rockstar he was, he said, "Hey - I've got a kid switch."  And he does.

A taste of cake and 'green' ice cream.

The kids were so generous with their gifts.  Gavin was a spoiled boy.  It was so funny with that many kids.  He would grab a gift and try to start opening it and five kids would magnet right to him.  He would move away a few feet (the kid needs his space) and they would all follow.  I think he was wondering why the heck they were following him around, but he handled it well.

And this is how we knew it was over...

The day after Gavin asked if we could go to Chuck-E-Cheese for his 5th birthday.  I said, "Don't even talk about it..."  No way dude - not yet.

Dear Gavin,

Do you know how much we love you?  Really.  You are such a sweet boy.  We call you Tender Heart.  You are sensitive and aware.  You are generally compliant and as of late have been the super helper.  I can send you to run random errands for me around the house and you know exactly what I need and how to get it.

At age four, you:

• love Legos
• just watched the Star Wars Triology.  You are walking around humming the theme song
• have memorized the first five Articles of Faith 
• are getting dare-devilish on your bike.  You lift your legs and stand up while you are riding and think you are hot stuff
• are still cautious
• HATE bees and other large bugs.  
• your favorite color is green
• can count to 50 on your own and practice every day
• can identify all of the letters and their sounds
• can write your name and can copy letters that I show you
• are getting pickier with food.  Still a great eater and usually willing to try a bite of anything, but are starting to have opinions and say "yuck!"  
• shared an Article of Faith and said a prayer for the first time without wimping out (I may have teared up just a bit...)
• love to be with your friends.  Buddies you play with regularly: Savana and Robby, Lorin and Luke.  I would say Ander is your best bud and you two play so cute and nice together. 
• are ready for preschool.  I think you will do great with other kids and be eager and interested to learn
• will watch TV all day if I'm not careful.  I finally had to limit your shows.  
• can navigate the TV without me.  You know the remote and TV buttons and can flip back and forth on Netflix like nobody's business. 
• love to play the iPad.  Likewise, I don't even help you with it.  
• make your bed and get yourself dressed everyday.  It's kindof nice to not have to put on your shoes and buckle your seatbelt.  Let's hear it for independence!  
• tell me I'm beautiful and that I'm a princess.  And that my hair is nice.  And that I paint toes good.  
• ask me where we are five times while we are driving - trying to figure out different cities.  You have an amazing sense of direction and know where this or that is even if we've only been there once  
• wonder how God talks to you and why you can't see Jesus.  You tell me you want to be baptized and make good choices.  Your questions and statements are sweet and sincere.  One funny thing that happened last month was when I had the music up loud in the car and you yelled from the back seat, "Mom!  I can't hear Jesus!"  

I have been impressed to watch you handle McKay.  He really loves you, you know.  He copies everything you do.  Everything.  Sometimes (okay, often) he hits you and it makes you cry.  But you are starting to talk through it and tell him not to _____ (fill in the blank.)  Last week I moved his crib into your room and you are officially sharing brothers.  I think you like being together.  In the morning you chat and come in and tell me what he needs.  I was especially impressed not too long ago when I was busy doing something and McKay was crying and needed a hug.  You pulled him onto your lap and he layed his head on your shoulder and you talked to him nice and soft, just like I might when he's feeling sad.  You are kind and a great brother.  I am excited to have him be able to look up to you.

You are such a sweetie.  I am happy to see you every day and am excited to see what four-year-old stuff you'll do this year.

Love,
Mom

Saturday Hike

Sometimes an afternoon away is just what we need. Brian and I hiked up Battlecreek Grove and had a delightful time. It was pretty, it was hot, it was cool. We ate a simple lunch next to a stream while we watched a bird fly back and forth feeding her babies. I really, really like Brian. And although sometimes I've got to wonder why, I'm very grateful that he likes me too.

Garden: Take 1

Ask and ye shall receive... Look what Brian made me! (Us!) I read a book called Square Foot Gardening and three week later this beauty was born. It's a little nutty how excited I get to check the progress every day. There is something especially cool about making a salad or smoothie with stuff that WE. GREW. I need to take new pics - it is now starting to resemble a small lettuce jungle.

Primary talks and other thoughts

Last week Gavin was assigned to give a talk in Junior Primary.  The second we told him what that little slip of paper said he was pumped up.  "Jesus Christ Teaches me to Choose the Right."  Brian and I wrote a simple talk and Gavin worked on it with us all week.  I bet he's done it 20 times.  At least.  He had that thing pretty well memorized.  I made little cue cards with the first letters of the next line or a picture so he could remember which part came next.

The excitement continued to today.  "Is today my talk day?  Let's go to church!"  Grandma and Grandpa Robinson even came to watch.  He looked so sweet as he plopped himself in the front of the room in his pink and white striped button-up and fancy new tie.  He looks so big to me now.  I was sitting in the front row next to the other kids in his Sunbeam class.  I told him I would sit right there in front of him and show him the cards.  As the scripture boy went up, he looked at me and I whispered, "You're next!" and he smiled.  He was ready.  We had practiced for this!  Once Chase sat down, he slowly walked up those two little steps at the podium.  He seemed brave and ready and knew just what to do.  All week it was: "Don't be silly.  Don't be shy.  Be brave.  Talk loud."

He looked at me and seemed okay and then glanced around that big, crowed room full of faces.  The look on Gavin's face changed in an instant.  And I knew.  He was so so scared.  He looked at me again.  I held up the cards and gave him the first words and he started backing up - like he was ready to make a run for it.  I'm surprised he didn't, actually.   I went up next to him and told him the first line.  His face went into my arm and he was all sorts of done after that.  Of course, in real time his six sentence talk didn't take that long, but the coersion, the prompting, the "You can do it!" seemed like it lasted forever.  I promised him gum and treats and Jesus will be so happy and all sorts of things in those few seconds.  I ended up giving his talk.  One line at a time, seeing if he was ready to join me or help or take over or anything.   Nothing.  Even in giving his talk for him my throat started to catch.  I mean, how scary is it for a three-year-old to get up in front of thirty people and do that?  It ended and he jumped down and I walked him back to Brian to say hello and give Grandma and Grandpa a hug.  I walked out of the room after I handed him to Brian and I cried.

In those moments I felt for the little guy.  I was in no way disappointed in him.  But for some reason I just wanted it so badly for him.  It's not even something that really matters, I guess.  It's not for anyone else, really, but I just knew that he was ready.  And excited.  And that this little boy can do this.  Not that it's a failure, because it's not.  But today was a defining moment for me a mother - for the first time I've really hurt for him.  I felt so sad that he struggled and couldn't do it.  And the thing that got me the most was that he was so. scared.  I've thought about it all day.  I wouldn't have done anything different.  I just know that this is the first of many times that I'll hope that something goes one way and it ends up going another.  I know that he will be scared again.  I know that he will be asked to do hard things that he doesn't want to do.  I know that I will have to watch him struggle.  And probably fail.  And it was just hard.  Even though today I could fix it, I know that as he gets older I won't always be able to (and shouldn't!) do that for him.

I gave him a squeeze and just loved that little guy today.  He doesn't have to give the best Sunbeam talk known to man for me to be proud of him.

Mornings Like These

Mornings like these don't happen all the time.  Usually while the boys eat breakfast, I can clean up the kitchen and get things put away before they finish.  That's the easy part.  It's the after part that's hard.  I want to pick up other things and look at my computer (a habit I'm sure I need to break) before the day gets started.  After all, it is only 8:00am by this time.  That's when the whining and fighting generally begins.  But today is different.  More important than doing 'my thing,' I can hear them playing forts and campout in Gavin's room.  They are running around like pals - not screaming, not fighting over a toy, and not pinning each other down and hitting or biting.  Just getting along.  And those are the best times.

Just last night I told Brian that I don't want to look back and regret this time.  I don't want to have regrets about not paying enough attention or not being patient enough or not teaching them how to handle themselves well.  Sometimes I don't handle myself well.  I don't want to regret my overreacting about things that don't really matter just because I'm tired.  I lack motivation and energy by midday and wish that I accomplished more than I do.  Sleeping sounds all too enticing by 1:00 and often I give in.  But then we live in a dump, I get grumpy, and the cycle begins again.

So today is a new day.  And I've got a new plan.

St. George Spring Break

After celebrating our 8th Anniversary on Monday the 9th, the four of us headed down to St. George on Tuesday of Spring Break.  (Eight years!  Holy cow!)  It was nice to have Brian to ourselves for an entire week.  That hasn't happened in a long, long time.

The boys were happier than happy.  We were out in the open and free from the day-to-day cares of home.  Making room to take the bikes was the smartest thing we've ever done.  Brian and I were able to take our bikes down as well and switch off going on rides.  So fun.  I love love love riding my bike.  Minus the prancing around in spandex part (I swear - I never thought I'd live to see the day...who do I think I am?) it's one of my favorite ways to exercise.

We went to the SK8 George skatepark (clever?) twice during the week.  The boys loved it.  McKay is a crazy person out there.  How we didn't end up in the hospital with a head cast is beyond me.  And if he's not the first child to break and arm or have stitches I will be shocked.  He flew around on that plastic trike like he owned the place.  Whether we were there to save him or not was of no concern to him.  Gavin, on the other hand, is a bit more cautious.  Almost obnoxiously so, but better safe than sorry, I guess.

The rest of our time was spent playing at the park, swimming at the indoor pool, watching movies, playing Guess Who and Hot Wheels, mini-golfing, and just plain bummin' around.  I love my boys.  All three of them.

Easter 2012

The boys were sure excited when they went out to the couch first thing and saw that the Easter Bunny had made an appearance. This year, they each got a t-shirt and a stuffed animal, along with the usual sugar stash.

We ate a breakfast of creme brule french toast and watched The Lamb of God all before 8:30am. We went on a walk and bike ride to burn some energy so McKay would take a nap before our 1:00 church. We hung out at Rhett and Alison Mitchell's for awhile and had a fun time talking to them.

The pre-church pictures are always required. This year things went from okay to sun-in-your-face freakouts in a matter of seconds. But we did manage to get a few good shots.

Church was wonderful. I loved the lessons and the boys were happy. I love that Easter will always and forever be on Sunday. Just how it should be.

 We headed up to Grandma and Grandpa's for the annual bbq, deviled eggs, and easter egg hunt. McKay knew what to expect this year and minus a few prods to keep it moving, had a great time looking for eggs. He loved the ones with money inside.  Gavin left no stone unturned. He was bugged that I wanted his picture since he was clearly busy. He had better things to do...

The final hurrah was grandpa pulling out the lawnmower and taking the kids for wagon rides.  McKay could hardly handle it when his turn was over.  (He's not good at sharing these days...)  All in all, a perfect day.