Gavin Boy

How can you look at this face and not smile? I dare you. You can't. Well, I can't anyway, and I guess that's what matters.

Here's my little buddy for his (almost) two-year-old pictures. I cannot believe how grown up he looks. This 35-lb butterball is so much fun right now. He's running and talking and figuring things out every day. It's pretty neat to see the wheels in his head spinning. He's exploring the outdoors and starting to play pretty well on his own with his toys inside. We're finishing the yard here in the next couple of months - I think we'll be out there all summer!
At 22 months, Gavin is singing and dancing his way through life. Every night Brian brings his guitar into Gavin's room to sing before he goes to sleep. We always start off on the chair together, but the second the guitar gets going, he feels the need and says, "Dance!" He be-bops his way through each song. I love that about him. He sings his ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle, You are my Sunshine, Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam and Where is Thumbkin pretty dang well.
Now don't let this innocent face fool you. Yes, he does make me smile, but that doesn't mean he's perfect. He's developing a little sass and when he wants something - watch out - because he's going to let us know it. He waits to see if you're watching and knows how to push buttons. He knows what is going to make us freak out. He starts doing something and looks up at us with those eyes as if to say, "I know this is bad, but I'm going to do it anyway - just to see what you will do." How funny that a kid so little knows how to control us like that. Smart.
I love, love, love this boy and have found both comfort and a little anxiety knowing that I will be taking care of him all the time now that I've quit working. Comfort because being home is what I want to do and have waited so long for. Anxiety because I want to provide him with good experiences that will make him a good person and develop his mind. It's a big, big job - I realize that more everyday. I probably put too much pressure on myself, but I just want to do a good job and be a good mom. Being the first kid and all - I hope he'll forgive me while I figure this out.

Family Pics

Every time we get pictures taken, unfortunately the first thing I notice is how my right eye smiles small and every hair is not in place. Silly! What I should notice first are the three boys surrounding me - I love them all more than anything. They are my life. And it's a good one.

Introducing...McKay

Sweet baby boy - Three days old
Dad and his boys (and Elmo)
Alert and awake
I forgot how little babies are! I love how he still tucks his arms and legs in. He is much more interesting (and comfortable!) out than in. :)

Baby McKay

I CAN NOT for the life of me get my pictures to upload. I'm working on it.

McKay Nathan Robinson was born on April 1. He weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz and is 20 inches long. I was scheduled to be induced on the 2nd (because I DID NOT want an April Fool's baby) but at 3:00 am on the 1st, I decided I didn't really give a hoot what day he was born. Everything went smoothly...even more so than with Gavin, which was also a good delivery.

We're on Day 6 now and he is super sweet. Last night was the first night he slept in his bassinet between every feeding. Nice! We had to hold him on the couch for hours at a time for him to sleep. Hopefully he's getting over that and figuring out our rules around here for day and night.

Brian has been home and will be here the rest of the week for Spring Break. It's been so nice to have him around. I could very well have meltdown come Monday when he leaves me. Gavin has had lots of attention from dad and loves his baby brother. He is sweet and helps me burp him and always lets me know when he's crying.

I'll have to think more to eloquently write my thoughts on having two kids - it's been an adjustment! But I know that it is worth it and I love my two little boys.

My New Favorite

Mothers of the world unite!

READ THIS BLOG

http://memoriesoncloverlane.blogspot.com

I'm not kidding. You'll love it.

Looking Forward

Time is flying by...just two weeks from Friday and we'll have another little boy. I can't believe it. This pregnancy has gone by quickly. Having Gavin to take care of is certainly the reason. My "to do" list has gone from super long to just the essentials. I don't have much time - so I've got to be choosy about what's really going to happen by then. If I stop taking naps, that might help buy me some time as well. But those naps are hard to give up!

I, of course, am grateful to be able to carry little babies - but am I allowed to say a few reasons why I'm ready to be done being pregnant? I hope so.

I am so looking forward to sleeping. On my stomach. I remember that first night so clearly the day I came home with Gavin. It is so close I can taste it.

I am excited to not have to attempt to pop or rub my back every 5 minutes. I just think I get it taken care of when - bam! - it feels like a knife is stuck in there. Knives in the back don't feel good.

I would really appreciate having control over my bladder. I have a hard time not being in control of this. Don't tell me I'm the only one...

I have a new eating/workout regiment that I'm all ready to start. I'm excited to have my body to myself and then do something productive with it. Not that growing a baby is not productive - I think there's actually quite a lot to it. But I just want to make it healthy and look better. Hopefully better than it's ever looked before. Go me.

But mostly, when I'm done being pregnant that means I've finally been able to feast my eyes on another little miracle. I'm SO curious to know what he'll look like and be like. How will he be the same or different from Gavin? I'm sure it will be hard not to compare. I know that I will love his little guts out. Can I love another little boy like I do the one I've already got? I'm pretty certain I can. And I'm so excited to meet him.

Sad for me

Last week my computer died. It took a tumble out of the back seat of my car. When I opened my laptop and saw white with a flashing ?, I got concerned. I called the guy at technology. He didn't think it looked good. Hard drive is probably gone, he said. Lost everything. Everything!

It's so sad how much I've depended on that little computer. It is back now and I'm typing on a fresh pad and mouse here. It's so clean and fresh and feels brand new. But my bookmarks on my internet are gone. My passwords aren't all automatic anymore. Gavin's face is no longer my screen saver - just some generic space scene. So impersonal. So silly how much I miss those little things.

The saddest part was that I lost Gavin's journal. I had done a write-up every month of his life (20 of them so far!) to put in his photo album. They're gone. Kaput. That's the only thing I cried about being gone. I cried really hard. Everything else is replaceable but that. Nothing can take away my memories of the past 20 months with him, I just won't be able to remember the details that I had written down. Like when exactly he got his first tooth and what words and songs he said first. I just can't remember! Lots of kids don't have their first 2 years documented to the tee...but I had done that for him, and it makes me sad. There's still a small, miniscule chance that Cliff down at technology can save it. I am praying for him to find that one thing. That's it. If you don't think it's silly, you can pray for Cliff, too. I think he needs all the help he can get.