Opportunity of a Lifetime

It was December when I received a text.  His name was Leland Anderson and he was the principal of the RDF International School in Shenzhen, China.  He wondered if he could schedule a FaceTime interview with the two of us.

My heart jumped.  This is it.  I talked to Brian who was also surprised and we scheduled it for the following evening.  I was excited and scared and nervous and I remember feeling really cold and shaky the entire time we visited.  When the thoughts initially ran wild in my mind, I pictured Brian and I working at the school and the kids going to an international elementary school with kids from all over the world.  It would be an experience we could never recreate.  I would be able to teach again and have the wonderful experience again of working with the sweet Chinese kids who made me feel so alive.

It was probably 10:00 pm our time and we talked for over an hour.  We noticed the BYU flag hanging in his office and he sat next to an assistant of some kind who listened in and asked just a question or two.  The very first thing he said was, "There isn't an elementary school in the area, so you'd have to homeschool your children."  This was totally not what I had pictured.  But instantly, I thought, "I can do that."  In coming weeks I would have moments of sadness - maybe even anger sometimes - when I realized that this wouldn't work out for me the way I had pictured it.  Of course, those feelings are long gone and didn't last long, but they were absolutely part of the process for me.  He asked us all about our teaching background and I personally had a hard time coming up with some of my answers, as I haven't taught in almost a decade.  But at the same time, my ideas and beliefs came back to me.  Brian explained how this school would be pretty much the opposite of the school where he currently works.  The students in China are trying to get accepted to Ivy League schools, whereas the students are Summit are often the first in their family to even graduate high school.  I think Brian is more than qualified and would be an asset to any school.  Leland was very complimentary and kind and kept saying, "If we offer you the position" and we talked and asked questions as if this was going to happen.  At this point, Brian still thought so many hoops would have to be jumped through for this far-fetched idea to come through.  The conversation ended well and within the week the HR guy from the school called for a follow-up interview.  It was short and he asked us how much money we expected to make.  That was a weird and hard question - we felt like we were put in a tricky spot but knew that we needed to make it work financially.

During the coming weeks, I spoke often with Petra and hashed out details.  She and I would talk numbers and figure out exactly what we needed to make this happen.  Finances were Brian's biggest worry.  Neither of us felt comfortable going to debt to do this.  Part of the deal is the the school would fly our entire family over there and back as well as pay for housing and some of the bills.  I crunched numbers night after night and emailed back and forth with a woman who is teaching there and has a family our size.  She told me their budget, line by line, and I worked out ours.  If we rented out our home, then we could make it work.  I had the number written on the top of the paper.  The number that we needed to realistically consider it.

Leland called in January and offered Brian a job.  And wouldn't you know - he offered him the exact number that I had written on the top of my page.  We won't come home with extra, but with this we can make it happen.  Brian was visibly shaken and put his hand on his face after he hung up the phone.  We had a decision to make.  Before if was just a what if?  Now it was a real option.  Brian wasn't committed yet.

Over the weeks prior to this we talked and talked about the what ifs and how would this work and played out all the scenarios in our minds.  We talked about fun things and extra things we could do and how much the kids would learn.  We talked about flying to Taiwan to see his mission.  We talked about walking on the Great Wall and seeing the rolling mountains in Guilin.  We talked about learning ping pong and badminton and him speaking in Chinese again.  We talked about his job here and could he get a leave of absence and what would he do when he got home.  We talked about the kids sports and friends they would miss.  We talked about scary food and wondered if the kids would eat it.  We talked about walking away from it all and the simplicity that we could find.  We talked about what we'd need to chance here at home if we didn't end up going.  We talked about living big and taking chances in life.  We talked about bringing the focus back to our family and how this could be one way to really reign in the craziness that we are involved in right now.  We talked about it all.  Over and over again.  Not in an exhausting way, but in a thoughtful, thinking, prayerful way.  We went to the temple.  He didn't want to be mad at me for 11 months if I made him go.  I didn't want to be mad at him for 11 months if he didn't try.  So we kept thinking.  Is this a good, right decision for us right now?

I suggested we talk to his dad.  He's got a logical but feeling brain.  Brian trusts him.  I trust him.  We went to dinner with them one night and had them so concerned when we said we wanted "to talk."  That's probably never good for a parent to hear their kid say that....  We came back and sent the kids away (they still had no idea of what was going on) and told them of the opportunity here in our family room.  Their first reaction was that they'd miss us.  But when I pressed to ask him what he thought, I'll never forget what he said.  He said, "I say take the adventure.  Time is short."  He reminded us of the time he took the family on a trip and saved $30 on a hotel with no pool.  He always regrets not paying the extra and getting the pool.

I decided to let Brian sit with it and not say anything for a bit.  Let him come up with whatever he came up with on his own.  I had told him all of my thoughts.  There was nothing more to say.  He knew where I stood and what I wanted to do.  Just a few days later we were talking on the phone while he was at work.  I brought it up and asked him what he had been thinking about it.  His response: "I say we pack our bags and fly to China."  And that was that.

How the Next Chapter Starts

It was a sunny fall day the first week of October 2018.  Tessa and I were on a drive and coming home from Home Depot where we had just gotten some pink paint samples for her bedroom.  We were headed home coming down Fleming when we saw our tall, blonde friend Lisa Jones walking down the street.  She was knocking doors for work, I'm sure, so I rolled down the window to say hello.  We visited there for a minute and then when a car was coming up behind me, I pulled the car over and we continued to talk.  I think we talked for 30-40 minutes that day.

During the conversation, I remember talking about a variety of things.  I have since thought back to how the conversation went from one thing to the next - trying to remember all the details.  I know we shared podcasts and conference talks to listen to as well as personal family things that were hard and going on in her life at the time.  We work in primary together, so I'm sure that was in there somewhere.

While not dealing with life circumstances nearly as trying or serious, the conversation turned to what we were working on.  I told Lisa about redecorating Tessa's room for her 4th birthday in a month.  I always wanted to do a little girl room, and even though I was into it and excited about it, for some reason on this day it just seemed silly.  Probably because of what Lisa was dealing with and the overwhelm I was feeling about my to-do list - sometimes we make insignificant things like that seem really important.  It was at this point, when we were talking about pink bedrooms and things that really don't matter that we talked about gratitude.  I wondered aloud "What do I not have?"  Nothing.  We have everything we need and then some.  We talked about gratitude and then my thoughts turned to my time when I lived in China.  As a student teacher, I remember coming home from that five-month experience with so much gratitude.  I explained a little of these feelings that I had and then I said to her, "We should go back there...."  My voice trailed off and she said, "You should!"  We brainstormed for just a minute about how neat that would be to take our family there.  I told her that I had a BYU contact I should get in contact with - just to see.  We said goodbye and I left feeling uplifted and with a list of good things I wanted to read and listen to.

On the drive home my mind was reeling.  I walked right in and looked up the number for Al Merkeley.  He worked in the Dean's office when I was a secretary there in the McKay building as well as when I was recruited to Xi'an for my student teaching.  When I called and said my name, he knew exactly who I was.  He said, "I'm so glad you called now...I'm retiring and will be gone in six weeks."  I told Al I had a crazy idea and that I was calling him without my husband even knowing.  "What would it take to get our family to China?"  He told me about two schools that BYU is affiliated with and said that he would get my information to Peter Chan, who was also around almost 20 years ago when I was there.  I think I told Brian later that night what I had done - but it was a far-fetched idea in his mind, so he didn't think too much of it.

After a few days I got an email from Peter with Al's forwarded message.  His note to me simply read, "Do you want to pursue this?"  I asked Brian if he would be willing to put together a resume.  No problem.  Letters of recommendation felt like another level of involvement.  This took more convincing, but he did it.  I gathered my letters in a few days.  Brian took a few weeks.  I think he was nervous to even entertain the idea and telling a colleague about it to write a letter was a scary thought.  It was November by the time I had forwarded both of our resumes and letters of rec to Peter to then forward on to the principals.  Weeks went by before I heard anything.

During these weeks of wondering, I spent many times on the phone with my friend and old China roommate, Petra Laster.  We had become like sisters when we lived together and while we hadn't talked regularly or often over the years, I felt like I wanted to hash this out with her.  Brian wasn't super interested in talking about it, but my dreaming and crazy thoughts were entertained and encouraged by her.  She kindly and gently and excitedly went through scenarios with me.  We discussed money and how much we needed to make it happen.  All of the details that kept me up at night - she could talk it though with me.  During our first conversation when I suggested the adventure, she told me, "This is happening."  And when a question mark first jumped into my head, I still knew that she was right.  And that I wanted it to happen for us.

Back in Business

I looked at my blog a few days ago - the first time in over four years!  What!!?  A feeling of complete sadness came over me.  That I quit.  Why did I do that?  I spent hours looking back at those happy times with our little boys.  I've forgotten the little details and am so glad I wrote about them then.  When I thought about why I stopped...well, the short answer is that I felt like I was just in over my head.  Having a fourth baby (our little Tessa girl) really took me over the edge of crazy.  Four kids is a lot of kids - and just the amount we always wanted.

I think for years I've been just hanging on - doing a day at a time - and only recently (maybe this past year?) have felt like we're coming out of those baby years with a new view on life.  We are done with diapers, cribs, strollers, and all of the extra baby bags.  Don't get me wrong...being at home with my kids is the thing I've always wanted.  I have it.  I have a wonderful life.  But it's hard.  That's all there is to it.  Being a mom is the most challenging and rewarding thing I've ever done.  Wouldn't trade any of it.  Days get long, patience gets thin, and then there are moments of sunshine that make it all worth it.  We span the full range of emotions around here on a daily basis.  I work every day to try to be a little more present and find joy in the ordinary.  I actually think I'm doing much better at it because I know that my thinking and feelings and attitude are all my decision.  When things get crazy (and of course we all know they do!) all I long for is the uneventful days and a little more of the mundane.  Sometimes boring is a great thing!  I have learned to completely love simple.  Once upon a time I used to feel like I needed to fill every day with something.  I have since changed my tune and find my quiet days in our home the very best.

I can't wallow in the fact that I missed all those years.  So many funny kid quotes that I can't remember anymore.  So I'll bullet point a few things and then we'll just have to move along.

• We left off renovating our American Fork home.  We live at 965 E 220 N - just across the street from the hospital.  We love it here.  Every place we have lived felt like home, and this is no different.  It always takes time to feel like you belong - but we are in the right place for us right now.  There is no doubt.  We've spent years fixing things up little by little to make it how we want it.  We still have a handful of projects (always projects!) but we will get it done.  
• Our sweet Tessa Charlotte was born November 7, 2014 in American Fork.  First kid that we induced.  The rest came on their own.  But she marches to her own beat, this one.  It's wonderful to have a little girl.  I never imagined that would happen but we love her and her brothers adore her.  She can hold her own with all these boys.  She's got blonde hair to her bum and beautiful blue eyes.  She and I spend quiet afternoons together everyday after we get Jonah to school and it is my favorite time.  I love having her home with me.  It's been interesting seeing the differences between our boys and this girl.  She is emotional, silly, creative, and I am amazed at how she'll sit and color for hours or I'll find her in a corner playing toys quietly on her own.  
• One major, memorable event was the time that McKay slid down the banister in G&G Robinson's new St. George house in March of 2015.  He was almost 5.  We told him over and over not to do it and he flew down on a swim kickboard and a piece of wood from the banister ended up under his toenail.  It was well over 1.5 inches.  It was terrible.  Surgery and all.  From this point on, we use "toe under nail" as a gauge for pain.  That's a 10.  Since then, he's been much better at giving us accurate pain assessments.
• The kids attend Barratt Elementary in American Fork and they are all converted to all things Cavemen.  We love the school, teachers, secretaries and know that our kids are being well taken care of there.  They are great students.  For the record, I did cry at Gavin's first parent-teacher conference.  I remember feeling so much love for the teacher who took care of him everyday and for them seeing all the good things about him.  I was also very pregnant at the time, but it was still an important memory.  
• The kids wanted me to write that we went to Florida.  This was over Tessa's 2nd birthday.  Uncle Paul made that possible for us and we stayed at Anne and Paul's house and had the best time.  We did Magic Kindgom, Cocoa Beach, played with cousins, swam with manatees and took our first family flight.  It was an adventure of a lifetime.  We felt lucky to go.  
• Our day to day life is filled with sports sports sports.  When we got here we got Gavin enrolled in soccer and it has expanded to basketball, flag football, tackle football, and their favorite - baseball.  All the boys are very involved and there is nothing they love more.  It makes us happy, keeps them active and all of us busy.  Most of our weekend are spent going from game to game.  While it feels long sometimes, I love to watch these boys excel and improve and do something they love.  We've met so many good friends sitting on the sidelines and bleachers.  Our kids have great friends.  
• Gavin was baptized in July of 2016.  He doesn't want us to forget that we went to Tim McGraw Stadium of Fire that night.  It was a great day with lots of family.  McKay was baptized in May of 2018.  That was after an extra month of waiting for dad to be ready (see next bullet point) Both wonderful days that we won't forget.  They were loved and so excited.  I hope they remember the feelings they felt.  
• Brian got his hips resurfaced in 2006.  We went to California for that.  Twelve years later, one side started hurting and after months of pain and two weeks of unbearable pain and a lot of grumpiness for the situation, the component broke.  He was carrying two 5-gallon jugs of fish tank water and it snapped.  My parents had just flown in from AZ for McKay's baptism (literally 15 minutes before he called) and so my dad and I drove down there to get him.  Checked into ER, found that it was broken and not dislocated, canceled baptism, ambulanced up to the UofU to get to a specialist who could help us over Spring Break, got a total hip replacement and was back home four days later.  It was a crazy ride.  We are still so grateful to nurses and doctors who continually take care of us.  
• We started an important series of trips when we decided to visit all of the MBL baseball stadiums to watch a game.  Baseball is our family game - since Brian and I both played and the boys love it so much we decided we could use a few more hours at the ballpark.  When our friend Barbara Langford was called on a mission to Missouri, the idea was born when I decided we needed to go visit her.  So a trip to church history sites and a road trip tour of about five stadiums was born.  To kick start it, we began by seeing the Padres on one of our Oceanside trips, a weekend drive with the big boys to the Diamondbacks, and then a summer trip to San Francisco to see the Giants and the A's.  Just a few months ago we did a 24 hour trip with the two big boys to Denver to see the Rockies when we found flights for $30.  We are excited to visit places different than the same four places (St. George, Bear Lake, Oceanside, Arizona).  We need to average about four a year to finish before Gavin leaves the house.  If you've ever wondered what I lay awake thinking about at night....this is it.  
• Speaking of trips, last summer's trip to visit Dave and Rachelle, Oakland, San Francisco, and Monterey Bay was one for the books.  We had a great route and got to see a lot and also had fun hotel swimming and hanging out time together.  It made us feel like he MLB tour was purposeful and exciting and actually going to happen.  It's going to happen.  And we're going to make more happy memories along the way.  
• Bear Lake trips have continued to be a staple and the kids love the simple time there.  We usually take our scooter up there and share a condo with Nathan and Dawn.  Oceanside has happened in 2015 and 2017 with the Woolf/Terry fam.  I'm not sure if our family will continue that tradition or not.  It's important to us to spend time with cousins and aunts and uncles whenever we have the chance. 
• For the last three years I have been serving as the primary president and Brian has been the pianist.  It has been so fun to be in there together with our kids.  We taught a class together first, then both got moved to music (pianist/chorister combo) then put in the presidency.  Serving with these children has been a true privilege and blessing in my life.  I would stay in primary forever.  I will be sad when it's over.  

So, the point is - we were here.  We were living our happy, simple life.  Time to start the next chapter, which will no question be different than all the others before. It's important to me to have a record so we'll get back at this again.

What I'll Miss

Christmas 2012

I can't believe how quickly this month has flown by.

Before we headed out, Marijo and Katie came over for lunch with their families.  I haven't seen Marijo in six years and it was fun to visit with her and finally meet her girls.  I am kicking myself that we didn't take a picture.  But I love those friendships that just pick up where they left off and are easy and safe.

On the 22nd we drove down to AZ in our new Toyota Sequoia.  The ride was quick and painless.  The best we've ever had really.  I'll be surprised if we top that one.  Not one tear, not one whine, not one cry.  It went by quickly.  We headed to mom and dad's where everyone was having dinner.  Matt & Melissa, Dave & Rachelle, Britton & Lane, Nate & Allison, Dave & Karyn, and Lynsey & Matt were all there this year.

We stayed at Nate and Allison's new house and hardly saw the boys all week.  They played and played with their cousins and had the best time.  When we told Gavin it was time to go one day, his eyes filled up with tears and we gave in.  He ended up playing for 8 hours with the big boys.

Christmas Eve was spent at mom and dad's and was the typical kid-fest.  Yummy food, a cute nativity, pinata, jammies, and a story by grandma.  The kids fell asleep in about two minutes when we got them to their beds.

Santa found us in Arizona and Christmas morning was calm and fun.  Gavin's gifts included: Hulk Smash, bay blade, Avengers figures, wiggle car, Sonic video game, and a Ben10 bracelet.  McKay got: a wiggle car, Wonder Pets stuffed animals, gum, Avengers figures, and a bay blade.  They are pretty good about sharing.  Brian


And now that it's all said and done, as much as I love putting up the tree, I love taking it down and cleaning up and starting fresh.  These snowy Utah days have kept us hibernating and we've been playing and watching movies and getting things put back together around here.

Oh, and potty training again.  Heaven help us all.

Pre-Easter Sunday

Since we won't be at church on Easter, we got Gavin all decked out the week before.

Lyns...This one's for you!

He is "Fang" no more... Two front teeth came in this month. :)

Seven Months...

...of pure cuteness.  I still can't get enough of this boy.

Where we are

It stresses me out to post things not in order.  But then if I work that way, then things will never get on here.  Important things that I want to remember.  There have been several little things in the past few days alone that I think I need to remember this but I know I won't.  So, someday I will go back and get Gavin's birthday and the rest of summer and renovating and being pregnant and Jonah's poop problems for the past six weeks and school starting and all that jazz.  But for today, these are the things that I want to remember.

I am a terrible pregnant person.  I know that I am blessed and do feel incredibly grateful.  But still, I am just bad at it.  Moody and irrational and plain mean.  I don't love that at all.  I keep telling myself that I will be feel normal again.  I hope that is true as it is hard for me to believe these days.  Lately I've been sleeping in the basement.  It's a lot cooler down there with a big soft bed that feels more comfortable to me.  I also can't hear much.  So the kids have been getting up and I've been sleeping in later than I would if I were in my room.  This morning it was a shocker to me when McKay came in and said, "Mom, I think you need to get up."  It felt later than usual and I came up and wouldn't you know it - 8:22.  8:22!!  I can't remember the last time I slept that long.  I saw a box of cereal on the kitchen floor.  I walked into find Jonah being handed mini wheats one at a time from his sweet brother McKay making sure he was fed and happy.  Poop up the back.  Gavin had the remote and the cartoons running.  Do these kids really need me??  I think they are really running the operation around here.  In fact, I am certain of it.  It was so funny to me that I was sleeping and all of this was going on.  I felt a lot irresponsible.  And laughed about it several times today.  Awesome mom points for sure!!

Jonah is the cutest thing ever.  Fifteen and sixteen month olds are the cutest.  I think I forgot that.  He has a million teeth (at least 10, really) and says lots of new words.  He says daddy, mommy, mom, doggy, ball, hi, blanket (doesn't sound like that at all), nana, and more.  He gives the sweetest snuggles and really just walks around the house doing his own thing.  Playing with toys, going up and down the stairs, unloading dishes, and playing with his brothers.

McKay and Gavin have been at each others' throats.  School started Tuesday (will have to write about that someday...) and I think it's a good thing to give them a little space after the summer together.  Those last few days were killer.  Like fighting and teasing and punching and pulling the entire day long.  When I asked McKay what was going on he said, "My heart is black.  And it is empty.  Well, it's really pink, but it is still empty."  Where would a four-year-old come up with that?

Gavin has been trying to transition to his new school.  He's come home sulky and sad.  Tonight, after day three, when I asked him how things were going, he finally admitted to me that he sits there and wonders what he is missing at home and wants to be with his family.  It was really sweet.  Then he said, "Mom, I noticed that you made my bed today and that made me feel happy inside.  It made me feel like you love me."  I tell ya - we fight and nag and want to pull hair out.  And then they are all cute like that.  I even let him lay all over me during story time even when I really wanted him to sit back a little and give me some space.  But I held off.  And I'm glad I did because I think he just needs to feel close to us.  Though these little boys are lots of work, I wouldn't trade them for anything.  And I know that I need to be here with them.  And when not-so-great things happen I need to be here to handle it.  (Hopefully in a not-crazy-pregnant-lady sorta way.)

They are asking lots of good, hard questions.  Like they want to know about drugs and jail and how will the baby come out and all sorts of stuff I didn't realize we would be talking about this soon.  But we do, and it's good.  Sometimes funny.  And a little hard to explain.

Anyway, there's the brain dump for the night.  It's out of order and has no accompanying picture.  But that's ok.  This is where we're at.

Summer Days

A GIRL!!!

Yep - it's true!  We're having another baby.  And we finally get our girl.  I still can't believe it.  I think that's partly why I haven't announced super publicly besides to the family and friends we see most often because part of me won't believe it until I see it.  What if I have a baby and prepare and then it's not what we thought??  I doubt that will happen, and it doesn't make sense but that is the honest truth of why I've waited and waited.  We found out I was pregnant in early March.  It was right in the middle of showing the house and moving and Hawaii and……  But it was the final confirmation I needed to know that it was indeed time for us to move and that we were making a good decision.

Four kids sounds like a lot to me….but I think Brian and I have both always thought that four was our number.  My friend did the ultrasound early at 17 weeks.  I was so anxious to know.  Brian was on his way to Fathers and Sons and I still went by myself because I just couldn't wait.  I told her I wouldn't cry when she told me it was another boy.  And I was prepared and ready for it.  Although in my heart of hearts I thought it was a girl.  And it was.  And I cried.

We will be very thankful this November!

And then Kindergarten Ends

Gavin has had a great year.  I can't believe this Kindergarten year is over.  It went by so so fast.  Really fast!  He has grown so much.  He can read!  Gavin is a smart kid and I think he will do well in school.  I am proud of him.  Every time I went into his class he was obedient and doing what the teacher asked him to.  After being a teacher, I know that this is a pretty important thing!  (At least it was sure helpful to me…)  Mrs. Crockett did great things with him.  Besides literally watching him get big right before my eyes, I was pretty floored to see the influence a good teacher can have.  And to see what information he has stored in his brain that was never there before.  From the parent side this time around, I am very grateful.  Him going to Manila has been a good thing - for both of us.

It was SO fun to watch my own little boy at the dance festival.  He was feeling it and moving like crazy!  I may have teared up just a touch listening to the America song at Kindergarten graduation.  You just can't help it on those ones!  "This is a great song, mom" he told me.

His best bud was Garrett.  They only had one play date all year but in class they were at recess together most days and sat by each other at a table.  Garrett was a good kid.

Gavin's in the big leagues now.  All day!  First grade!  He is excited.  And he's ready.  I'm going to miss him.  And for sure McKay will!  We're switching him over to Barratt.  It is right outside the front door of our new house.  And with all these kids following behind, it just makes sense for us to go to school here in American Fork.  So he will have another new start, make new friends, and have another great year.  

Here's to a fun summer before I have to get all teary about that.

First day of Kindergarten

Last day

First day

Last day

London!

It still feels like a dream…  Even though this London trip has been in the works for well over a year, of course the dates would conveniently fall four days after we moved into our new house.

But no worries.  We made it work.  Brian the champion of the world took days off work, a week off of therapy, and lots of nice people took the kids during the day one week so that I could have the adventure of a lifetime.

And what an adventure it was!  The guest list: Mother, Becky, Susan, David, Jourdan, Amy, Brittney, Lynsey, Mark, Jenn, Sterling, and me.

Mark planned out our itinerary to the tee.  I just followed.  Made it easy and fun!  Nothing beats a trip when you truly enjoy the company of the people you are with.  Every day was packed.  For ten days we woke up early, toured and saw and enjoyed all day and crashed every night.  "This is not a vacation!" I kept telling Brian.  "This is an adventure!  A trip!"  He was certain I was sitting by the pool relaxing.  We were so tired.  But it was all so worth it.

I will always be grateful to Mother for making trips like these with my sisters, aunts, and cousins happen over the years.  New England - Seattle - New York - Washington DC - and now London.  Some of my very happiest memories.

Ordinary Days

Grateful for:
New houses to work on
Helpful friends to watch and feed kids during our busiest days
Home Depot runs
BYU days with Aunt Melissa
Park days with dad

Under Construction

To do list: Rip out carpet Rip out linoleum Paint kitchen cupboards Paint trim/doors/closets New hardware on doors Rip down mantle Retexture wall for TV Rip out tile by fireplace and backdoor Retile all of that (Thank you Brian and Nathan!) Paint

Easter

 Look at my three little men in their Sunday best.  So cute I can hardly stand it.  I didn't even buy them anything new or super coordinated and they STILL look handsome!    They were all ready for the egg hunt - long before those eggs were hidden.

 The kids love being with their cousins.  They always bring in a haul!  It was fun to have Grandma and Grandpa finally home again and things running as usual.  Holidays weren't quite the same without them!

 I am grateful for my little family and that I get to be with them forever.  Really, there are no other people I'd rather be with.  That turned out to be a nice deal, I think!

Moving

Three weeks after our house was listed, in about mid-March, an offer came in on our house that ended up being the one that stuck.  The month that followed was still stressful, as the buyer kept coming for more showings and asked us to fix several things based on the home inspection.  It made us nervous that she would back out and we would be back at square one.  So for a few hundred dollars and a few miracles, we gave in to her every demand.  We fixed some electrical stuff, the garage, a leaky toilet, a sticker on the furnace, and a brand new water heater.  While I was angry at times because I felt we were playing a game, things really did fall into place.  I had been going through rooms cleaning things out for a week and then started packing things up.

I mostly did ok - boxing up closets and shelves of books and things we don't use was not hard.  I was a machine!  Filling up that garage and showing Brian my progress each day.  However, I did have to call in the big guns to do the hard stuff.  Karen came over and single-handedly took down my curtains and pictures and homey things in the front room.  I don't know why but it was just so hard for me to do it.  Our house looked plain and uninviting.  It made me sad.  Things were feeling real at that point.  So I really waited until the last week to do that.  The next few days before the move there was a pretty constant stream of sweet, nice friends who helped me get the kitchen packed and then later our bedroom.  They were so kind.  They made it go fast.  They made it much less painful.

There were so many kindnesses shown to our family, particularly in that last week that made it possible for us to get out quickly.  Dinners day after day after the kitchen was packed up and even the day or two after we moved.  Kids being taken care of so I could work quickly.  Kids of others' kids being watched as well so that their moms could be with me to help.  A water heater.  Trailers and trucks delivered to our house and keys left on our porch.  So many helping hands to move boxes from the crawl space to the garage.  From the garage to a trailer.  From the trailer into the basement of our new house.  It was incredible.  People are so, so good.

We closed on April 15.  Had to be out by Saturday, the 17th.  They were long, long days.  I was beat.  The kids were out of sorts.  We moved into grandma and grandpa Robinson's house for two weeks while we worked on the hew house and got it ready for us to move in.

For the most part, I was composed.  But the ending there was pretty hard.  Ripped my little heart out.  I have so many happy memories of our little house on 1010 West.  We moved in 8 years ago with just the two of us and a puppy.  So much space - and room to spare!  We brought our three, sweet little boys home here.  We sat on the front porch and watched snow fall or ate popsicles.  Kids ran laps around the kitchen and the family room while Brian played the piano.  I can see Gavin army crawling down the entire hall.  I can see McKay standing up in the cherry tree waiting for me to come get him down.  I can see Jonah standing at the back door watching his big brothers and wishing he was big enough to join in the fun.

This little house is where Brian and I spent hours working together - finishing the yard, building a garden, making it ours.  The kids rode bikes and scooters down the path in the backyard over and over. Dug for worms in the backyard.  Found rolly pollies.  Learned how to ride bikes on the street out front.

I can't list them all here.  But I will forever remember the happy feelings associated with our first home. It was a good place.  Love grows best in little spaces…  We had great neighbors and we made friends that I truly believe will last a lifetime.

When we went outside for the last time the Belliston's and their girls were outside.  I was fighting hard to keep it together.  But I did.  We took pictures and said goodbye.  We walked back in the house and as I walked up the stairs to the laundry room door for the last time, the floodgates opened.  We went in and kneeled in our bedroom - our little family of five - and said a prayer.  Grateful for the opportunity to live here.  I had to go lay down for two hours before I was composed again.  It was so hard to say goodbye.

I know this move is great for our family and many new adventures await us.  And I'm excited for the next phase and know that the next chapter can be just as great.  So like Dr. Suess said - I will smile because it happened!

Year Ten!

The week before we closed on our house (of course!) was our Ten-Year Hawaii trip.  We had tried to go several years before, but we looked ahead and promised that this would be the year.  So forget being in the middle of buying a house!  Forget being eight weeks pregnant and sick!  WE WERE GOING!

Even though I was a little worried about the timing, it turned out to be for the best.  We really needed a break.  And to spend it with my best friend was just what the doctor ordered.

Although I've only been to one island, I think Kauai may be hard to beat.  It was so beautiful.  It didn't feel super touristy.  We filled our days with drives around the island - good food - zip lines - kayaks - hikes - waterfalls - macadamia nuts - luaus - books by the pool - luau - yummy breakfast and time to actually have a conversation! - snorkeling.  No agenda.  Just me and Brian.  It was seven days of heaven.  There's nothing like being in a beautiful place doing pretty much nothing with the person you like most to make happy memories.

There was a time when being married for ten years seemed far away.  Once upon a time Brian's heath made things questionable.  But I am forever grateful for the time that we've had together and hope for many more happy years.  With time comes a comfort and safety and trust that is important.  We get each other.  The good and the bad.  I know that he will love me regardless.  And our three (+1!!) kids in ten years are pretty miraculous.

Thanks to my honey for making this trip happen and for sticking it out with me.  Let's do it again!!