Oh!!! I didn't realize that my heart would actually hurt! While I am so excited for Gavin and know that he is ready for this new adventure, all day long my heart has been sad. I saw the uncertainty in his eyes when we said goodbye and he bravely walked toward his door and then stopped and looked around, I'm sure thinking, "Now what do I do?" He doesn't know a soul at that school. This is my school....have I pushed this on him? Have we made the wrong decision in sending him here? I was doubting and questioning and just worry worry worrying!
I felt like I was sending him on an airplane all on his own. Throwing him to the wolves! I have pretty much been with him for the past five years and now I'm just sending him in a room with people he doesn't know? Alone? I can't believe how quickly we have gotten to this point. Yet - I know that he can do this. He wants to do this. And I know I want it for him too. I just cross my fingers and pray that he will find his way in from the playground. That people will be kind to him. That he will be a good friend. That others will see the good in him.
Two hours and forty five minutes passed quickly as McKay and I made cookies and did mommy school. I thought about him at least 50 times. I was so anxious to get over there and pick him up. Luckily I got there early enough to be outside his door when school was over. I had planned on just driving through, but I'm so glad that we got out and met him. His eyes were searching for me as he came out the door. I just watched him and waited for him to find us. A smile instantly crossed his face when his eyes found mine. He was mine again.
How will I send him again tomorrow?
1 comment:
Kennedy starts kinder on Monday. She's terrified. Iam not used to terrified. Patrick marched right into school (1st grade even) but this? This might be harder.
Good luck with your continuing adjustment.....it's a good thing. We raise them to launch them, right? :) You can both do it!
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