August

I can't believe how fast the summer has gone. For me, I feel like although it's the end of summer, it really doesn't have to be. This is the first August that I've hardly glanced at the calendar. My former self would have been at Walmart a month ago purchasing 150 notebooks and folders and now I can just walk by the aisle and smile. All of my work friends are busy gearing up for a new school year to start next week. Not me - I just scheduled another week of swimming lessons! I think I've finally wrapped my head around being home full time and now my 'to do' list looks a lot different than it used to. I'm thinking of all of the things I can do around here. Loving and playing with the kiddos will be 1st on my list. I believe they will remember that time spent more than a dust-free, spotless house. But, I do have some serious goals in the home improvement/organization/food storage/FHE plans/cleaning areas and that's a really good thing for me.

BUT I'm still trying to find the energy and motivation to do all of those other things. My list looks nice and long, but things are not quite getting crossed off yet. I find myself having a rest on the couch or on my bed pretty much daily when the boys are sleeping at the same time. My heart and my mind are in a battle every day about whether or not I'm lazy. I've decided to not beat myself up about it. Once I give myself permission to sit, things go a lot better for me. Even this morning I clocked in around 6:00am - I'm pretty sure sitting down at 2:00pm isn't a crime.

The other thing I've been working on is me. For the first time I have been really consistent in taking care of myself physically. When McKay was born, I realized that I needed something to do just for me that didn't cost a lot of money. No jogging or double strollers. Just me. All alone. It's been really good. I look forward the an hour or so by myself. Brian is so supportive and helps me get out of the house. I've been strength training and cardio-ing and really working on the nutrition part. I'm happy to say that for the first time in my life I feel like I'm being successful. I'm getting to where I want to be and it's a good, good feeling. AND I stopped biting my nails at the same time. How's all that for motivated? So very un-Natalie-like.

I was looking back at things I'd written back when Gavin was little. I'm glad I took time to do that. I'm going to do better at keeping track of those little things again. It' s been fun to lok back and remember. Because this blog is for me. I always think I have to have a cute picture or something clever. Nope. Just us is good enough.

Poor McKay. I think I've written three sentences about him. Time to repent!